Why 'Having It All' Is Possible And How to Make It Your Reality

Hey friend,

Let's talk about a phrase that gets tossed around like it's truth: "You can't have it all.” or the phrase “You can have it all but not at the same time."

Some people say it with a sigh of resignation. Others with smug certainty. But either way, the message is clear: Pick your lane. Choose your sacrifice. Accept that dreams have limits.

And I call 💥bullsh🤬t💥.

Because here's what I know: You can have it all. You just need to define what "all" really means to you and believe it's possible before the world catches up.

This isn't fantasy. It's frequency.

The Lie That Keeps Us Small

Back in 2012, The Atlantic published a now-famous piece titled "Why Women Still Can't Have It All" by Anne-Marie Slaughter. It was thoughtful, yes, but also limiting. It shaped a generation's beliefs and embedded the idea that our deepest dreams must be rationed.

Let's be real: The article wasn't just reflecting a cultural narrative, it was helping write it. Even when the intention is to create change, we have to be honest about what's being reinforced. When we name the belief that we "can't," we risk making it truth.

But what if that belief never belonged to us?

What if the deeper truth is this:

🚀 You were meant to be expansive.

🏆 Your dreams were never in competition.

💪🏾 You're not too much for wanting success, intimacy, health, presence, freedom, and joy.

You're just waking up to your wholeness.

This work is about winning from within.

So Why Does It Feel So Hard?

Because most of us were raised inside a paradigm of scarcity and sacrifice. We watched people burn out chasing money. Or give up their careers for family. Or stay in systems that rewarded suppression, not expansion.

We internalized the idea that to be responsible, we had to be realistic. And being realistic often meant being quietly unfulfilled.

But here's what I've seen through my own life and through the lives of my clients:

The moment you start believing that "having it all" is possible, not someday, but now, your life begins to reorganize around that belief (and unfortunately, the opposite is also true).

You stop tolerating disconnection. You stop defaulting to self-sacrifice. You start choosing with clarity. Acting with alignment. Moving from truth, not templates.

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Let's Make This Real: 5 Steps to Start Having It All (Right Now)

1. Redefine What “All” Means for You

Not society's version. Not your parents'. Not Instagram's highlight reel. Yours.

What does your version of "having it all" feel like? Look like? Sound like? Get crystal clear. The more specific you are, the faster your life begins to reflect it.

👉 “The Power of Clarity"

2. Challenge the Inherited Rules

Start asking: Whose belief is this?

If you hear yourself thinking "I can't be a great parent and run a powerful business," or "Success always comes with sacrifice," pause.

That belief isn't law, it's legacy. You get to choose what you carry forward.

👉 “Before Strategy, Fix This: The Belief System That Runs Your Life"

3. Build the Infrastructure for Alignment

Having it all doesn't just require belief. It needs structure. Time boundaries. Emotional regulation. Real support.

You don't have to do it all today, but you do need to create a life that can hold the fullness of your desires.

👉 "You Don't Get What You Want You Get Who You Are"

4. Practice Holding Duality

You can feel stretched and still be supported.

You can want more and still be deeply grateful.

You can be wildly ambitious and completely peaceful.

Stop waiting for conditions to be perfect. Master the art of holding both.

5. Move Like It’s Already Yours

This is embodiment. This is knowing.

Start showing up as the version of you who already lives in the "all." Speak from her. Choose like her. Rest like her. Love like her. Lead like her.

All you have to do is believe it’s possible and take inspired action from this place.

Final Word: Your Dreams Were Meant for You

If you've ever been told to "be more realistic," let me remind you: you were born for big.

You don't need to shrink to fit someone else's idea of balance. You're here to build a full life. Not a fragmented one.

So yes, you can have the thriving career, the nourishing relationship, the strong body, the quiet mind, the joy, the intimacy, the freedom.

You can have it all.

And no, you don't need to earn it through suffering. You just need to remember that it's yours to claim.

If this sparked something in you, pass it on.

With love,

Brandi

PS: I’d love to hear more from you drop a comment below.